A Teacher In The Procession

This is a day for parades. Imagining the procession of palm-waving Christians who welcomed Jesus and his ragtag army into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, we have often wondered how we would have responded at the sight of the cheering, curious throng. Would we have watched the parade pass by, or would we have joined it? And what sort of marchers would we have been?

Happily, our procession of faith includes a dear friend, Sue Cooke, who certainly would have been part of the parade. Quietly, but fervently and resolutely.

We've known her for nearly 25 years as members of the same Methodist church, once in Boston and later on Long Island. We have worked together, cooked together, prayed together, traveled together, laughed and cried together. Actually, not cried that much; because, whenever that option presented itself, Sue always insisted that we laugh.

For the past two years, Sue has battled a cancer of the most aggressive form that has required more than a dozen operations. She has lost an eye, her sense of smell and faced endless crises. For much of the past year, her surgeon's prayer each Sunday has been that he never have to operate on Sue Cooke again. But Sue ignored the odds. Her outlook remained forward, her attitude positive and her determination unflagging. Days after her first operation, she joined friends on safari in Tanzania. In the past two years, she has traveled for reunions in Boston, Vermont, the Berkshires, Virginia, Delaware and Atlanta.

In the process, she has become a traveling tutorial - this serious, quiet and tireless worker has become a teacher. We've learned the importance of making the most of time together and of finding new ways to reach out when we're not. We've phoned, written cards and letters - even a book. We've learned to take time to say thank you. We have learned the importance of humor. (At one meal, her husband offered a prayer of gratitude for the magical cure of laughter.) A recent reunion was billed as a time to laugh and cry with Sue and her friends. Sue would have none of that. Laughter was the only choice, and indeed after the weekend, one of the women complained that it was her laughing muscles that hurt.

Through this, Sue retained her focus - on others more than herself. Even as the prognosis became ever more grim. She has helped her friends address the classic conundrum of how we reconcile bad things happening to such exquisitely good people.

Several weeks ago, after receiving another glum forecast, she was riding with a friend and discussing her grim outlook. "Why me?" she asked. Then before waiting for an answer, she continued her pondering. Then she answered her own question: "Why not me?"

Sue has become a model, a teacher and an inspiration for our own march by the way she followed the instructive words of the Psalmist: "Steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the Lord. Be glad in the Lord, O Righteous. Shout for joy, all you upright in heart." How lucky we are to march with people like Sue Cooke. How important it is to try to live with the questions she has raised at her moment of trial. Why me? Why not me?

— Haydee and Jim Toedtman

Courtesy of The Church of the Good Shepherd United Methodist