A GIFT FROM GOD

Jan. 25, 2003, was one of the most exciting days of my life, and Jan. 26, 2003, was one of the saddest. We were anxiously awaiting the addition of a baby girl to our family. She was born on Jan. 25, and I rushed to Fredericksburg for the delivery. My daughter, Julia, was with me when I got “the call,” and she asked if our baby was being born. I cringed as I answered yes because Maurice and I were trying not to get our children’s hopes up before we were sure our baby girl was coming home.

However, by this time, Julia had already helped us pick out a name for her new baby sister. After a few hours in the hospital holding the baby girl and talking with the birth mother, grandmother and the social worker, it seemed that our long wait was finally over.

The next day came the call every prospective adoptive parent dreads – the adoption was in jeopardy. Facing extenuating circumstances that none of us could have imagined, the adoption was falling apart, and a baby girl was caught in the middle. I am still surprised that I was able to stay strong.

I struggled to try and make sense of why we were going through so much pain, but I found great comfort in prayer and the prayers of others. My grandmother and my Disciple I Bible Study Group were incredible sources of faith and strength. I knew God was with me and that things would be OK, eventually. Any time I started to feel the sadness come over me, my children, Julia (5) and Brendan (3), provided a wonderful and welcomed distraction from the sadness and reminded me of the many ways God has blessed me.

Almost six months passed, and although I didn’t doubt God’s plan, I became more and more confused about what it was and when I would understand it. The social worker had few answers as nobody ever expected our adoption would take so long. I frequently joked that this was God’s way of reminding me it’s His plan, not mine. While I believed what I was saying, it didn’t always help my patience. I repeated Philippians 4:13 to myself many, many times.

On July 23, the social worker called to tell us about a baby boy. Of course, I was very skeptical and hesitant to open my heart for fear of another massive wounding. But with the power of prayer, I found strength, and in less than two weeks, our prayers had been answered. Quickly we were scrambling to find the old crib parts.

Now we can’t imagine life without Luke – our biggest blessing of 2003. There are still times I feel a pang of loss for the little girl who didn’t become a Cogdell, and I shed a few tears when I think back. However, I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am to have three wonderful children, and especially the littlest one who made the transition from two to three easier than I could have ever imagined. Like our others, he is truly a gift from God.

I may not always understand God’s plan, but it is His plan, and He will supply every need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

— Heather Cogdell

Courtesy of The Church of the Good Shepherd United Methodist