A SPIRIT OF POWER

TODAY: Thank a teacher today. Take a moment to recall a teacher who encouraged you when you were shy, timid or close to tears before going before a class, making a speech, singing a solo or playing a game. Spend a moment trying to locate that teacher and saying thanks. More important, thank that teacher by doing the same for someone else.

One morning recently I was driving to Arlington, on my way to make a one-hour presentation to a conference of 45 people. I had spent several hours at my computer earlier in the week preparing my thoughts and materials for participants. I was as ready as I could be. I have given hundreds of presentations to groups larger and smaller than this one.

Even with this preparation and my experience, I could still feel the fear bunched up in the bottom of my stomach, and the lump at the back of my throat, as I had so many times in the past. How could I stand up in front of this group of people and open my mouth? What if I tried to speak and nothing came out, or my voice shook, or I burst into tears? What will they think of me?

I remembered to do what I have learned to do also so many times before. I said a brief, silent prayer, “Help me, God, to be of use.” Then I reached for one of my CDs of spirit-encouraging hymns and slipped it into the CD player. I was almost oblivious to the people passing by, watching me sing my heart out inside my private world. With renewed spirit and energy, I delivered my presentation. At the end, the audience was enthusiastic. Sometimes I take all the credit for the job I have done. This time I remembered to thank God for the strength and ability to connect some of the things I have learned to the needs and questions of the people in the room.

Many people who know me now would not recognize the timid young woman I was years ago who struggled with fear, who lost her voice and even burst into tears when trying to make a simple statement to a small group of people.

Looking back, I can see the slow, steady hand of God guiding me, encouraging me, empowering me. Sometimes God was at work through a mentor who told me I had done well, and suggested in the most supportive ways what I might think about the next time. Sometimes it was someone in the audience. One time I was feeling particularly discouraged about a talk I had given the day before. Two women who had been in the group -- though I had not personally met them -- walked up and thanked me for what I had presented. Surely God was there in that moment.

At other times, verses from the Bible have come to mind when I have needed them most, reminders that God, the Holy Spirit is with me and continues to support me in difficult times. “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7) Hymns of praise and joy spring to mind unbidden at moments when I most need them. The power and presence of God is at work in my life, even when I have no conscious knowledge of the path that I am following. I want to learn to trust God’s presence more in times of uncertainty, and to fear less. I want to remember that the statement of Jesus that appears most often in the Gospel is: “Do not be afraid.”

— Susan Shearouse

Courtesy of The Church of the Good Shepherd United Methodist