FREE FOR THE ASKING

Last spring, I was ready to terminate a very dear friendship. One of my most trusted friends had betrayed me in a painful, personal way. I was filled with anger, rage and a burning desire for revenge. I was on my way to confront her. As I was driving, I rehearsed my words and tried to find and memorize the ones that would hurt her the most. The car in front of me slowed down for a yellow light. Of course, I was annoyed that the car had not crossed the intersection because it further delayed this explosive encounter I was ready to launch.

As I sat at the red light, I finally noticed the car's license plate. It read "HS GRACE." I did not immediately register this. But it was a long red light, so I stared at the license plate again. HS GRACE. Then it vaguely occurred to me that God might be trying to send me a message. However, God was the last person I had in my thoughts at that moment. I charged on to my encounter, and put the license plate out of my mind.

I met with my friend. It was ugly. I felt like I had been run over by a truck. We parted, and I had no choice but to go home and go about the business of that day.

After my children went to bed, I decided simply to sit outside and think. And as I did, an amazing thing started to happen. I first felt a physical change (my shoulders relaxed, my headache eased). Then an indescribable emotional shift began to wash over me. I started to recall all the years of shared experience, life events, fun, tears and adventure with this person. I started to realize how important she is in my life and wondered whether I really wanted to live the rest of my life without her in it. In my mind, through no effort of my own, the notion began to form that we would overcome this; that somehow, things would work out; that our friendship was worth saving. I tried vehemently to talk myself out of these thoughts, and to remind myself of my pain and fury. But the thought kept coming back: "Have faith. Things will be alright."

It was then that I remembered the license plate from earlier in the day. HS GRACE. When it finally hit me, the realization took my breath away. God used that car, and put me behind it, to remind me that His grace is available to me. Given my state of mind, He had to make it a pretty obvious message. As today's scripture says, "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

Pastor Noland reminds us often that God's grace is available to us, and that sometimes, all we have to do is get out of the way. The Spirit chooses when to come into our life. Thank you, God, for sending the Spirit to help me find grace in my time of need.

— Elisabeth Russell

Courtesy of The Church of the Good Shepherd United Methodist