UNEXPECTED GRACE

Last summer, an interesting thing happened to me. After 25 years, I met my high school “nemesis,” and the whole experience taught me some very positive lessons. I learned that, not only have I changed a lot since high school, but that grace can happen at unexpected times. From 5th grade all the way through college, I played the French horn. Pardon me for “tooting my own horn,” but I was a good player when I took the time to practice. While still in grade school, I was asked to join my town’s junior high school band and also took lessons from a member of Chicago’s Lyric Opera Orchestra. I thought I was pretty hot.

Just before I started 7th grade, my family moved from Chicago to a town of 25,000 in the Southwest. In 9th grade, I encountered my aforementioned “nemesis.” She went to my same high school, also played the French horn and played it well. For three years, she and I played in many groups together, typically sitting next to each other. We also went up against each other in music competitions across the state. One year, we ranked first and second in the All-State band and orchestra competition. In the 11th grade, we both played in a statewide youth orchestra that took a concert tour of China.

My “nemesis” was a nice person. She never wronged me in any way, except that she just had the gall to live in my town, play the same instrument and play it skillfully. In other words, she infringed on “my turf.” Like many high school students (and adults too!), my reaction was to demonize her. Outwardly, I was usually pleasant, but my cordiality was only surface deep. I do not remember saying negative things to her face. But, I made plenty of bad comments and jokes about her to my friends and family. She must have known that I didn’t like her.

Last summer, I was invited to the 25th reunion of the youth orchestra that traveled to China. One of my best high school friends organized the gathering and strongly urged me to return. I decided to attend. Immediately, I wondered whether my “nemesis” would be there – I had not seen her since high school. I fretted about the encounter. I no longer harbored any ill feelings toward her. How could I? But I was ashamed about how I had treated her.

Sure enough, she attended the reunion, along with her husband. At first, I kept my distance and thought about what I would say to her. Eventually, she came up to me, extended her hand and told me how great it was to see me. Likewise, her husband approached me, shook my hand, and said genuinely, “Jim, I have heard so many nice things about you.”

I was relieved. This was definitely not the reception I expected (or probably deserved). Maybe I was not quite the high school ogre I remembered myself to be. Or perhaps – more likely – my “nemesis” moved on from the negative and instead focused on the joy of seeing a former schoolmate with whom she shared so many positive and memorable musical experiences. Thanks to her warmth and grace, we had a wonderful reunion.

— Jim Lovelace

Courtesy of The Church of the Good Shepherd United Methodist